dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
