Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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