Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
