drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
