At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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