just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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