You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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