Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
