Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
