dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize