shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
