I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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