Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
