My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
