You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
