I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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