Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
