I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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