youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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