Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
