I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
