Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
