Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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