Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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