someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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