there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
