i don't like sucking hair
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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