hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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