Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Oh god it's open bar.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
