Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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