she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
