Your tits are I can't wait for
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
What a dumb baby whore.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
third nipple confirmed
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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