trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
