It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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