I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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