3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
