I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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