its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just fell off a train. Bad.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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