i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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