last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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