He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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