well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
