i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
