hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Randomize
