I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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