woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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