i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
operation harelip BJ is a go
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
