"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
