pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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