worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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