4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
