You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
