found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
