hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I am one with the molecules
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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