i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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