Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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