i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
