still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
