Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
